creatingnikki:

Dear 20 year old me,

You’re doing so well. Don’t stress about things that I need to be stressing about. Don’t stress about figuring your career all out and succeeding at it all within the span of 5 years. I know 25 seems far away now but it’s still very young. I’m not asking you to waste your time or party with people and get wasted because that’s what people think is to be done in their 20s. However, I am asking you to take it slow.

20s is not the only decade you can do what you want to. You have your 30s and 40s. So don’t stress so much. You are going to be alive for longer than these ten years. 

Don’t cancel out opportunities in your head just because you have convinced yourself you’re not good enough. APPLY. For everything you want to do. That masters program in that kick ass college, that exciting writing project, that brilliant job, asking that cute guy out. DO IT. The answer might be no but if you don’t try it will never be a yes anyway. 

I know because of the kind of people you have met until now you think you’re never going to believe in friendship again or have a set of wonderful friends again. College and school are not the only places and time you can make friends. You’re going to meet people throughout your life and I know, if not ten new friends every decade, you will meet at least one that you know is worth trying again for. Friendships blossom in unexpected ways with unexpected people and that doesn’t have an age limit. 

I understand why it’s easy to feel that you will never truly be in love and happy. I cannot and will not guarantee you a soulmate or sell you dreams of ‘the one’ but I will tell you this: you can have many great loves in your life and they don’t have to last forever to be true. We all want one happy ending, but having multiple happy chapters leading up to the end isn’t a bad thing. I’m not saying neither will last, all I am saying is that you don’t have to love only one. 

I want to end by saying that YOUR LIFE IS YOURS TO LIVE. People will oppose, gossip, look down upon, try to restrict the things you want to do BUT a little fight for what you want will get it to you. No one can stop you from the life you want to live other than when you convince yourself that they can. 

Eat fries, eat cake, eat candy. AND exercise. Those two are not mutually exclusive, you know. I know it hurts your heart to switch over to ebooks but just because you get a kindle doesn’t mean you can never buy physical copies. Dance more even if in your room alone. Don’t drink alcohol because you think that’s the norm. Give people a chance, don’t let your past experiences taint your current ones. If they fuck up, you can think what to do with them then, but until them, don’t already write them off. However, the one person you must keep giving multiple chances to is yourself. You’re trying. 

Love Always, 
Your 30 year old self
(or at least what I believe I will look back and want to say at that age)